Kissing the Blade
by Fayrwyn
Summary: What if the shire is a special place? Hobbits do not have the average knowledge that other races have because they keep close a completely different type close to their breasts. A hobbit is special, but why? Kissing the Blade is a supernatural thriller based off of lores that struggles with love and life, sanity and soul.
1. Chapter 1

_Red spat out of lips pale as a fish's belly. Hands clutched over a wound that spread with a darker color. There were muffled shouts, so many of them mixed together that one could not be discerned from the other. I looked around, helpless to aid. My eyes were blurring from what, I wasn't sure. I felt sad, but mostly regret. I didn't get to know him better. I wanted to know him so much better. To tell him my secrets, to learn his. To sit and read a book by his side while he sharpened a blade. I found myself crying over the simple need to just wake up in the morning and been able to cook breakfast for him to enjoy._

_Those red painted lips, edged with such a pale color pulled into a smile as if everything was fine. I knew it wasn't. No matter what they did Óin couldn't stop that red river. No amount of pressure stopped the spread of the pool under them. The blood reached my feet and no matter what I couldn't stop the sorrowful wail that suddenly escaped my throat. I clutched at my chest with one hand, the other covering my eyes as if my hand could hold in the tears._

I awoke with a start. Breathing heavily I sat up quickly and scanned the sleeping company of Thorin Oakenshield. They were all asleep, all safe. I tried to swallow but my throat and mouth were dry. I reached into my bag and got my water skin, there wasn't much left, but from the look of the sky we would be expecting rain soon. So I drank more than I should.

"Keep throwin' back the water like that and you'll run out." Bofur's playful voice tried to jab at me. "Have another one then?"

I poured some of the water into my hand, a tiny amount, and washed it over my face. I put away my waterskin before getting up and wandering over to the fire that he kept stoked on this particularly cold night. He frowned at me, I could feel it even though I was staring at the fire and not giving him a glance.

"It was a bad one I take it."

I nodded. After the Goblin Cave I had ended up spending a lot more time with Bofur. He was much more agreeable to my fancy than anyone out of the company besides quiet Ori who I would have considerable conversations about books with. I dare say they were my only friends outside of Hobbiton. As such when I started to have... troubled nights and it started to make me weary they had noticed and twice even Thorin himself had noticed. I had dark circles under my eyes which Fíli and Kíli both took to tease me over the bags in conjunction with my last name. I knew it was to try to pull a smile on my face, and some times it did, other times I had just wished to sleep without dreams.

"They seem to be more frequent." Bofur handed me his pipe, packed with new leaf. I shook my head in thanks and just held my hands close to the flames. "Any idea why that might be?"

"No, not really." I moved a hand to run through my tangled hair. "I mean, there are some old stories but I believe it is more of my anxiety of coming to a completion to this quest..."

"I worry for all of us too," Bofur confessed. "Especially the little ones. Barely old enough to leave their mothers' care and here they are."

No more was said, not until Bofur bumped me and took off to sleep. Nori was awoken for the next watch and I held very light conversation with him. In the morning I didn't touch my breakfast. Something about last night's dream-nightmare, made me feel sick. It was midday before I could finally close my eyes. I felt a hand steady me as I bobbed limp on the pony -that we had acquired after finding a small town- just trying to rest. I could hear every step of the pony. Hear everyone with light talk on their lips and it made me feel warm knowing that they were all safe and sound. Even though I didn't talk with each one of them individually and know them through and through, I cared for them. Then I was asleep.

I woke up when a particularly hard bump of my pony shook me. I blinked rapidly looking around before I realized it had not been the pony that had shook me. Strong arms pulled me down from my saddle and I clung onto the neck of whoever was taking me down. It was getting dark already.

"M'sorry." I mumbled. So tired. I needed more sleep.

"You're thinner than last I felt you."

That voice. Thorin?

I looked up and moved my feet to the ground. I stumbled a little. His hand came to my back the same time my hand shot up to grip his sleeve for balance. I rubbed my face with my free hand with an apology mumbled out the best I could manage.

"You have eaten less than a bird's share of the food in the past two weeks. Why?"

"Not hungry." It was a half truth so I was not lying to him, but Thorin was no fool. He grabbed me by my shoulders and forced me to look at him.

"You _will_ eat a proper share tonight Master Baggins."

His eyes seemed so... bright. If I could place two and two together at the moment I would have realized he had been worried, but it wasn't until after I drank dry my waterskin and drained half of Ori's that I caught Thorin's gaze from across the fire. The exact same look. It was kind of him to worry for us all, it made him a better person than most in the world, even by hobbit standards. I was still so thirsty though and when supper had been handed out I found it hard to eat what I could. I had to wait well after everyone had been done eating before I could finish which got me an approving smile from Bombur and rub on the back by Dori when he came to collect my dish.

"It's good to see you trying," Dori said. Which meant everyone had taken notice to my strange behavior and scanning their faces, they had all been worried. I looked down at my hands and smiled. I was blessed to have these friends.

"Tell me," I heard Kíli scooting up to Ori. "Why does one become a scribe?"

Before Dori or Nori could bristle Ori looked up and smiled. He pulled out one of his books and opened up the leather cover and flipped through to a part that Kíli read and pointed excitedly at the book. "That's me!"

"I have to document everything we do. Even if we all die there will still be a part of us that will never be forgotten." Ori said softly, his fingers brushed over the parchment and ink. "I suppose becoming a scribe is just to follow what interests you. This is how I can contribute. I... don't have much battle skills. I can barely swing a hammer and my sling shot is next to useless only providing a decent distraction to most creatures-"

"But you have a fierce aim." Kíli cut him off. "I can teach you archery and then there would be two of us that could do long range."

Ori laughed. "We need a second bow for that."

"Easy enough to do." Kíli scrambled up to his feet, grabbing Ori's hand and pulling him up off of the fallen log they had been sitting on. "We have enough trees around us, I'm sure we can find something we can turn into a bow."

"Stay close to camp!" Dori shouted at them.

"I'll keep an eye on them." Fíli pushed himself off of his bed roll and trekked after the two.

Dori and Nori shared a look before Dori flicked a nod in their direction and Nori got up and silently disappeared in the shadows. Bilbo could do nothing but chuckle. Dori will always be a mother hen and Nori was always going to be overprotective of his little brother.

"Princes or no they best be treating Ori with the best possible intention if you know what I mean." Dori shook a wet dish rag-from where he was doing the dishes-in Thorin's direction. "I won't be havin' his heart broken and his life in danger all at the same time."

"They are old enough to choose their own path."

"And mistakes." Dwalin snorted, most likely taking note of how the two princes tend to get themselves into trouble, but Dori didn't see it that way.

"Excuse me? Are you sayin' that my Ori isn't good enough for a prince?" Dori huffed.

"No!" Dwalin quickly snapped and stood up and walked up to Dori. The two started squabbling like an old married couple complete with Dori rambling while doing the dishes and and Dwalin groaning over the fact that Dori had mistaken his words.

"Here." A water skin was placed in my hands.

I looked up at Thorin who sank down and sat next to me. "Drink as much as you like."

"Thank you." I managed to say before nearly ripping off the stopper and drinking as much as I possibly could hold with out throwing up. I could feel it running down my neck and wet the collar of my shirt. When I pulled it away from my mouth I was gasping for air and blushed. It was so uncivil of me, but I had been so thirsty. I handed it back to Thorin with a sheepish grin while wiping at my mouth. "I appreciate it. Sorry for drinking so much."

He shook his head as he rested the water skin between his legs as he sat cross legged. "You needed it."

There was a long silence between us. Balin had been pulled in the middle of the fight between Dwalin and Dori making Bifur, Bombur, and Bofur laugh as they watched the whole spectacle, even Gloín found it interesting enough to watch while Óin settled in to get an early night's sleep. Gandalf sat to the side and slept himself, looking more tired than usual. Oddly enough, I felt that the source of his lethargy shared a kinship with my own though he was better at hiding it.

"Why are you not sleeping?" Thorin's fingers brushed mine when he leaned back on his hands.

It was an honest question but I did not know how to answer it. Stories. That's all I knew. Old ones in a dark library, buried under the deepest hobbit hole where no one goes except for the elders. Tomes thick as trees shelved with scrolls and leaves of paper stretching down an impossible hallway. The candle sputtering to stay alive as it became hard to breath in the smothering darkness. The old creature hobbling on thin, knobby legs as it rambled by a desk that had wax poured down the sides, candles stabbed into the raw dirt walls to brighten the end of the tunnel. "No, no it won't come. No! It will come."

"Bilbo?"

My pulse leaped in my throat. I laughed and ran my hands through my hair. "Sorry. To answer your question I believe it's just an overactive imagination."

"I am here to listen."

That surprised me. I have not heard him offer that to anyone else. I turned my head, hands still in my hair. He was looking at me, the same way he did when he asked why I had come back to him-them... to... I found myself lost in his eyes. I wish they could laugh, could smile, be touched with joy.

"Perhaps another time." I threaded my fingers together. "May I ask an unusual request?"

Thorin frowned while he leaned forward. He had his usual serious look about him as he considered then said, "I will have to hear it first."

I looked him in the eyes showing my sincerity. "Watch me sleep tonight. Please do not ask why and... and if I think will happen does then I will answer what questions I can in the morning."

He reached over, his fingers brushing across my forehead and trailing to the nape of my neck. He had to be checking for a fever, trying to figure out why I would make such a strange request. Then he nodded. "And if what if you are expecting does not transpire?"

"Then I will look the right fool and you have permission to rub it in my face."

It earned me a smile from him, it even touched his eyes a little. "Fare enough."

That night I rolled my bed roll out next to Thorin's. Ori was sandwiched between two overprotective brothers, Bofur slept using Bombur's stomach as a pillow while Bifur took first watch. Everyone was settled down, even Fíli and Kíli who looked more like a pile of ferrets than dwarrow. I nodded to myself as I took in all that I saw. Everything... everything was as it should be. Safety, quiet or as quiet as one got with snoring dwarrow and the stars above.

I settled down, pulling my arms to my sides and tucking my hands in and used my pack as a pillow. Thorin was watching me already. I blinked sluggishly at him feeling tired already despite how much I slept during the day.

"Goodnight Thorin," I whispered.

He looked at me oddly for this. Then he tilted his head in a would-be nod. "Goodnight... Bilbo."

I watched him, blinked my eyes a few times, then closed them. Right when I felt as if I was falling asleep Thorin moved making me open my eyes once more. A few drops of rain came down before a sheet of it opened up from the sky. I quickly got up and went to grab my back but it wasn't there. My bed roll wasn't there. Not even the company. I...

I turned around trying to see through the dark night and the heavy rain. Why... Why was I alone?

"Thorin?" I called out, taking a few steps as I made sure to look in every direction. "Ori? Bofur?!" No. No, they... they wouldn't have left me alone. So why was I al-... Drag marks. I could barely see them but I could make it out well enough. I tried to be quick, the rain would wash the trail out if I took too much time.

Finally I saw someone. My heart thumped like a drum as I staggered to a stop. Thank you, whoever has been watching over me. By the look it was Fíli that meant Kíli and Thorin were not far away.

"Fíli, why didn't you guys wake me up? It's not nice to play such a... joke..." His body moved funny. Jittery, like he had a peculiar twitch in his shoulder and his body swayed with a limp agitation.

Some part of me already knew, that part that had walked down that long and strange hallway so many years ago. But I refused. I had to. I had no choice but to believe that nothing like what happened to that old hobbit could happen to me. It couldn't. I was promised over and over again that it would not happen.

I let out a choked sound as I stumbled a step forward towards Fíli. "Please... No." I heard my own voice cracking as that pain and sorrow of knowing filled my chest like a heavy weight. It wanted to pull me down into the darkness to drown.

A small creature pulled itself over Fíli's shoulder. I put my hand over my mouth at the sight. It was twisted, thin limbs with a bloated fleshy stomach that waddled like a goblin's pregnant belly. It hissed, climbing up the rope.

"Wake up!"

I was shaken awake by Thorin. I quickly pushed him to the side and ran out of camp, my hand clutched over my mouth. Soon as I was certain I would not vomit on one of my companions I let everything in my cramping stomach to be emptied. I kept throwing up, soon all I could taste was bile and I started to panic. I couldn't breathe.

"Stay calm." Thorin's voice was beside me. His hand rested on my back. "Force your body to relax."

I did as he instructed. Soon as I had air filled my lungs and I let out a nasty rattling cough before I could start catching my breath. All the while Thorin's hand soothed my back. He didn't ask me the obvious question of "are you alright" only stayed silent and allowed me to recuperate. Once I had managed to calm down enough was when he decided to ask.

"What did you dream?" He looked so worried. What had I looked like in my sleep to have made him so worried?

"F.." I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth trying not to throw up again. My chest started to raise up and down, my vision started to darken.

"Force yourself calm, Bilbo." Thorin's hands held my shoulders not tight but sturdy, something I could use to anchor myself to. I locked my gaze with his. "Mimic my breaths."

I did as he instructed and I had managed to relax once again. Thorin gave me a reassuring smile and ran his palm over my head and my panic had subsided by the soothing touch. He did it once more and I realized he must have done this several times with his nephews. It was a side of him I had never seen before. So soft, so caring, perfect for being a loving father.

"What did you see in your dreams?" He asked again, softer in tone.

"I-" my mouth closed shut, my stomach clenched. I could still see Fíli, I could still feel the rain that had never came down and the ghostly touch of seeing that... **thing**. "F-Ffíli, I-I have to see Fíli."

Thorin didn't question, his face turning stern as he walked me back to camp. Half of the dwarrow had woken up. Fíli and Kíli were awake and had been starting to head into our direction to check on us. Upon seeing the blond I couldn't contain myself. I ran to him. I opened his coat to look at his shoulder. There were protests but I paid it no mind. I had to make sure he was alright. When his shoulder was fine I made sure to check his neck.

"What in the world are you doing?" Kíli asked completely struck by my odd behavior.

I didn't care though. Fíli was okay. He was healthy and held no wounds besides the ones well set in healing. I allowed myself to let out a long breath and clutching onto the blond dwarf's coat leaned my forehead against his chest. His arms slowly encircled me and I pulled him into a tight hug. He didn't know how relieved I was that my nightmare and only be that, a bad dream. I was certain they were all confused and sharing glances and I had no interest in applying a care to how mad I most likely had seemed.

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

The morning came too quickly. I hadn't noticed it creep upon us as I had spent the whole of the night sitting on a log watching everyone slumber. Even Thorin had to take to his bedroll during the night. Every sound in the woods made my ears twitch. Was it a night owl? Was it a wolf trying to catch a deer? Or was it tiny limbs skittering across the earthen floor of the forest, too frightened by the fire light to come closer to see if there were any bones to pick at?

After the sky lightened from a black cover to a dark gray sheet of gathering clouds the dwarrow had begun to stir. I allowed myself a moment to rest. A small nap, thankfully void of dreamscapes. It was Fíli that I had woken me for breakfast. He sat down next to me and stirred his bowl of porridge with his wooden spoon for a good long while before asking. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." I lied. "I have little words to explain myself. I apologize for... well, groping you last night."

Fíli gave a gentle smile. It was something that could read as being gentle and reassuring or he was thinking up some youthful trouble. I knew his intent when he nudged me with his shoulder. "Pay it no mind. It was kind of relaxing, like being kneaded at by a kitten."

I laughed a little through my nose as I dipped my spoon into my porridge and let it cascade down back into the bowl. "I would hope that I'm a strong kitten, having taken down an orc."

"Then let me amend that," he put his hand on his knee and leaned over so I had no choice but to look at his bright face. "you're a cub."

"Which type? Bear, wolf, lion, the list goes on."

"Hmm... good question. Let's see." He took a spoonful of his breakfast and shoved it into my mouth. I nearly choked on the intrusion. When that got nothing out of anyone besides to get me to eat he did it again. This I certainly had not been anticipating and tried pulling away before he could do it again. Then we heard Thorin.

"Fíli, leave Master Baggins alone. I am certain he knows how to feed himself." The sharp tone in the king's voice made his nephew smile since the king had not even been looking in our direction but somehow knew what Fíli was up too.

"Bear cub." Fíli grinned and swapped spoons with me as his now had my saliva all over it. He whispered quietly, "Bear cubs are the most dangerous as you have to watch out for mama bear. And if I don't find a different seat soon I'm certain mama bear Thorin is going to make me run for a new one sooner than later."

He got up and waved two fingers in the air as a salute as he passed by his uncle that had been on his way over to me. Thorin took the place of Fíli. He sat for a while before saying something I never thought I would hear him utter, idle conversation.

"Fíli's must like you."

"Why do you say that?"

"He treasures his creamy meals and will barely share them with Kíli. Being on the road, learning what trades he can, he rarely gets the chance to have such things, so they are a treat to him."

"I'll have to thank him for shoving his spoon in my mouth then."

Thorin snorted out what I gathered to have been a laugh. He shifted his feet apart and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. When no further conversation followed he looked to me, then to my bowl and nodded.

Eat. He told me in his own way. With a sigh I slowly swallowed what I could. It helped that I could see Fíli happy and safe as he playfully stole some of his brother's breakfast. He was safe... he wasn't...

I clapped my hand over my mouth as my stomach lurched as the image from my dream came back to haunt my mind.

"Take a moment." Thorin's voice was steady, guiding, it was something I could ground myself too. "Breath through your nose."

I did as instructed and kept down my porridge. I uncovered my mouth and breathed heavily feeling my throat get dry and I needed water. To my surprise Thorin had anticipated it. He had his water skin uncorked and pressed it into my hands. I greedily drank down as much as I could until he took hold of it and pulled it away from my lips.

"You will make yourself sick." He said softly, corking it.

"You..." Our gazes locked and I felt no hesitation for what came out of me. "were a very good father to them."

"I thank you for that compliment but... what kind of father drags his sons into parel?" Thorin tore his gaze away from mine to seek out the sight of his nephews.

"All of them." I placed my half empty bowl of food on the ground. "They wait for a proper age for learning to apply knowledge and for another age to have that knowledge applied. For dwarrow I suspect there are many younger than Fíli and Kíli with less training that have gotten into worse situations. I have little worry for them knowing you had helped raised them. Balin said that your sister Dís was not too keen on the idea though. Mothers, true ones, never want to let go of their children."

"You seem to know more about me than I you." Thorin grumbled but he was not upset. "How much have you learned?"

"Apart from the story of the battle of how you lead the army to win back Moria and how Dís lost her husband, not much." I laced my fingers together. "The rest I gathered from watching your interactions, just as I've seen how Bifur mourns for someone he lost, very close to him."

"Explain."

"When family is mentioned, and stories are shared over how Bombur's family can be so chaotic having so many children to Gloin's son wanting to have come, Bifur becomes distant. He doesn't talk afterwards and Bofur is often seen afterwards taking out Bifur's braids and redoing them in a grooming sort of way that seems to always bring comfort to the man. So I assume Bofur is keeping something important to Bifur neat and tidy and from what Gandalf has told me of braids in the dwarvish culture I think the braid was first done by someone he loved dearly."

"You would be right... You are very observant, given time and space."

I smiled a little. It was his own roundabout way of complimenting someone. I had learned that it took awhile for Thorin to accept anyone, friend or closer, it always took time. I understood why. He had been hurt so many times in the past that it would make anyone bitter towards outsiders. It helped improve my dour mood.

"Bilbo."

It wasn't often he used my given name. Last time he did he was angry over something he had discussed with Gandalf which lead to a night in sacks and my panicking to keep us from being eaten by trolls. But the words that followed were laced with worry and what I believe to be concern.

"You promised me answers if something transpired last night. As we both know it has, I want what was promised."

I squeezed my hands, the pain of my laced fingers digging into the backs of my hands helped me from tightening the muscles in my back but not in my jaw. "Ask and I shall answer."

"Why water? Why are you so thirsty?"

The question threw me off. It was simple, it was innocent, and I was thanking my ancestors that Thorin was giving me this question to ease into the line of questioning. "I... had heard a long time ago that when it starts to happen the first thing to go in energy. As water is the first thing the body craves to give itself energy a powerful thirst will overcome you. Water has other traits depending on what form it takes and what treatment you give it. Running water tends to keep them best at bay but they enjoy the rain because the rain tends to make people wary. That negative energy they like it. It's said that they feed off of it like a meal."

"Who are the ones you refer to?"

I clutched my hands even tighter fighting with myself. It was a well kept secret amongst the hobbits, possibly more secret than the khuzdul language was to my companions. But more so the repercussions if anyone knew. There was a reason why we hobbits were so simple, why we were raised to have our heads buried in the ground. We didn't always have large ears to pick up the slightest of noises, nor feet that treaded as quietly as a ghost. We had to develop them for survival. The world outside of the shire was too dangerous for our ancestors and the shire... the shire...

I squeezed my eyes shut taking in a breath. Remembering that long earthen hallway. The many tomes, scrolls and loose pages. The strong hand on my back as the old hobbit at the end of the hallway rambled. Spit rolled down a twisted lip that was bent out of place by a long tooth. A blind eye rolling for something to hold its vacant sight. I looked up to my mother and father and the moved away. Leaving me. Shutting the door.

Fingers touched mine and I jerked, startled. Thorin was kneeling in front of me. When did he get there?

He gently uncurled my white knuckled, laced, grip showing deep cuts caused by my fingernails. He didn't speak washing my hands from the water from his waterskin. He got up and left. I wanted to reach out to him, to apologize, to explain what I promised to but my hands would not lift. Held down by a weight that no one could see.

My internal panic stopped when Thorin returned. He had bandages. The dwarf took my hands one at a time and gently wrapped them with explicit care. Gripping my wrists he looked me straight in the eye. "I don't know what haunts you Bilbo Baggins but I will not force you. You no longer owe me a promise of answers... but I am here to listen when you have the wish to speak of it."

I bowed my head, trying to stop the quaking of my bottom lip. I grabbed his forearms in a grip that made my hands hurt. A hard lump had formed in my throat as I shook from something I couldn't name. It was powerful and made me want to cry. "You honor me more than I deserve."

"You are a fool if you truly think that. Come, perhaps keeping you busy will ease your mind."

He was right. Keeping myself busy was a good distraction. Though everyone seemed to be wary about me, kept me either close or far away because they did not understand what was wrong with me. I had wished I could tell them. If they knew... it would destroy me to see them recoil in horror. I would have to chase them off for their own safety, to keep as far away from me as possible.

_"Now you listen ta me laddy." The old man's mouth didn't move right, flapped to the side like a crooked old goat. "No one must know out of hobbit ears. It'll corrupt them, open them up to the poisons." He suddenly laughed. "Yes, yes, just like that, just like that."_

I ran a hand down my face pausing in tying the large cauldron onto one of the ponies' back. A gentle hand rested on my shoulder and I looked over to see Ori. He smiled softly. "It'll be okay Mister Baggins."

I nodded feeling my shoulders sag with a bit of relief. It was a simple sentence but it seemed to be seldom said and for me, at this moment, it was the exact thing I needed to hear. "Thank you Ori."

"Perhaps we can talk a bit about some of the books you said you have written while in the shire." He offered. It was a pleasant change of pace; books, books were always good to rely on to take one's mind off of things.

"Only if you tell me of your accomplishments." I found myself smiling.

"O-Oh I don't have any."

"That's a lie!" I hear Kíli as he came up and slung an arm around Ori's shoulders. "This little blighter is smarter than anyone here, has over ten books he's written that are from his own imagination and you know, just yesterday he proved that he's almost as good an aim with a bow as I. Almost."

"So I take it that you made him a suitable bow?"

"Only good for practice. It'll break soon, next time we stop in I want to get him a real one." Kíli leaned more on Ori, brown eyes tracing the features of the redhead. "Hmm..."

I stepped back from the developing romance and let Ori take over finishing tying the ropes to distract himself as Kíli started talking about something. I don't know, couldn't hear his low whispers and I knew they were not intended for me so I moved away as quickly as I could. Only to come across another conversation that was not meant for me but about me between Thorin and Gandalf.

"I'm surprised you are dealing so well with Bilbo." Gandalf said lazily.

"_Dealing_? He is not something to have to be dealt with like a goblin or orc." Thorin snipped sharply.

"Him saving your life has really changed your perspective."

"Only a fool would not see he has potential and is a contributing member of my company after all that has happened."

"So why are you treating him so gently if his first kill was an orc?"

Thorin ran a hand over his face, his forefinger and thumb rubbing at his eyes. "That is not simple to answer."

"Nothing is."

"Enough of this, I have asked for your counsel as to what may be troubling the halfling."

"To be honest his behavior is even perplexing me. Hobbits are simple creatures but have closely held secrets. There are some things even my friend the Old Took wouldn't tell me and I was as close as kin."

"Do you have a theory then?"

"One, but I do not believe it my place to say what it may be."

"Will it endanger anyone?"

"Only Bilbo himself."

I couldn't listen to this any more. It was improper on all our parts, for them to speak about me and me for listening in. Though... I could not be angry at Thorin. His concern was valid. What if my madness infected someone beyond myself? It would not be good.

While I trudged around helping where I could I tried to blank my mind of all the wild thoughts going through my head. Keep unwanted memories at bay, keep the tension from crawling up my back like a spider, to keep myself from... from... I don't know. Doing something foolish.

"Bilbo."

I looked up from where I was working to find Fíli leaning over me his arms out stretched over my head using his spare cloak to shield me from a torrential down pour. I had been so focused that I had not noticed it raining, nor the fact that I was mostly soaked.

"You have the last of what needs to be packed, everyone is waiting."

"I-I'm sorry. I suppose I got distracted."

He smiled and waited for me to stand up before he wrapped the cloak over my shoulders and kept the hood up. He smoothed his hand over the top of my head making sure the hood laid right before scooping the supplies I had been securing in a bundle and walked with me to the rest of the company.

"Thank you for lending me your cloak." I said as I got on my pony.

"You're welcome." He flashed me a smile throwing the supplies on top of the cauldron. "It's almost worse than the thunder battle, figured you needed it."

"The thunder battle was terrible!" I said remembering how we nearly were crushed and how I almost fell to be thrashed upon the rocks below.

Fíli mounted his pony and waited for me as our company started to leave. "True it was bad but something did come of it."

"Like falling into the goblin kingdom? Nearly becoming a deserter?"

"Uncle showed that even though his mouth says one thing he actually means another." He wiggled his eyebrows as if I should know what he meant.

"Many do that. And though your uncle has lightened upon my presence I don't believe his words towards me have always been with a hidden meaning." Fíli only tilted his head and I continued. "Thorin is a good man. I do not regret the struggle I had to become his friend and I do not believe he should either. The past is just that, passed. No sense dwelling upon words spoke long ago."

"Then you know what I'm doing." His blue eyes laughed though his lips did not.

"Yes and I would suspect you had a part with your brother and Ori."

"Perhaps."

"I will advise you on one thing." I said wiping some water from my nose. "Friends make the best prospect while strangers are dangerous."

"You are friends and both of you have an element of danger."

I smiled. "All the more reason you should leave things as they should be. No one should owe a life of commitment to another just because they were doing the right thing. Besides, you are the one endowing me with the gift of a cloak when I need it. Could possibly put some suggestions into one's mind."

"Wh- no!" Fíli's face was priceless as he stammered, not expecting me to tease him in such a way. When he noticed my grin he laughed and wagged a finger at me. "Mister Boggins, shame on you putting such things into a young dwarrow's head. What would others think?"

I was about to give a witty reply only to have my ears prickle. A familiar twitch as the hair on the back of my neck tickled, standing on end. Something was around. What was it? What level did I need to gauge it at?

"Bilbo? Is something the matter?"

I ignored the question. Whatever it was, it was coming closer. My skin was practically crawling. I wanted to run, hide in a hobbit hole and wait for it to pass but I had no such place. I was out in the open on this path, the woods started to thicken around us but that was not good enough. On our right was a hill, left a steep incline that would send someone tumbling for quite a fall.

I heard it again, the sound between a hiss and a child's sleeping breath. "Stop!" I shouted, panicked. If it was what I thought it was, it would definitely wreak havoc with the ponies it came across. I yanked on the reigns of my pony. "STOP!" I shouted louder over the rain. Now that we were not moving I could hear it all round. I was going to scour the ground if I needed to. This thing was not going to sneak up on us. Oh no, not with Bilbo Baggins here.

I was half off of my pony when I saw it. Behind Fíli, on the cauldron. Just like from my dream... the blubbery belly, thin limbs, large mouth with gnarled teeth. My pony saw it and reared. I fell down. It's paddling legs went to instinctively squash the creature but only succeeded in hitting the cauldron, the shoes of the pony batting at the old rope causing it to start to break. Fíli raised his arms to shield himself from the flailing hooves. I grabbed the reigns of my beast of burden only to have the pony that Fíli was on whinnied start to buck, the raised alarm of the two equine caused the rest of the company's ponies to start a fit of their own.

Fíli's pony's leg caught me in the ribs. The pain shot through me making my vision go black for a moment. When I could see again I was on my hands and knees and Fíli was being thrown from the animal. Down the hill, the black cauldron twirling down the hill ahead of him. Through the shouting and commotion of the dwarrow and Gandalf I understood. My dream. That horrible nightmare...

I dove down the hill, peddling on my feet as fast as I could to catch up to the blond dwarf. He hit a log, a sharp cry ripping from him. Ahead of us the cauldron had lodged between two trees, the rope tied to one of its handles sprawled up the hill. Somehow it wrapped around Fíli's shoulders and in his tumble it slipped up to his neck.

"Fíli!" I jumped forward, launching myself into the air. When I landed, by pure chance, I was on the wet cloak and moss causing me to sled down quickly. I tried uncurling myself, to grab Fíli but I passed by him and off a small drop. Nothing too dangerous for a grown human, but for a hanging dwarf, deadly. I scrambled up to my feet in time to see his boots. His foot hit the side of my face and I grabbed onto his legs holding him up, taking in all the impact of his body as the rope snagged him and started to choke him. I tried hefting him up higher as I felt him squirm for breath. He was strangling! He was dying!

Then he was suddenly on me, his full body collapsing on top of mine. I felt a few ribs crack next to my broken ones.

"Fíli!" Thorin and Kíli could be heard shouting over and over as they came down the slick hill side. "Fíli! Bilbo!"

I couldn't breath to call out and Fíli was coughing on top of me. My vision was starting to darken when I saw Thorin and Kíli look down the side of the drop off. They jumped down and pulled Fíli off. I hacked out a cough as air rushed back into my battered lungs. I was pulled up to a sitting position, strong legs supported my back. Dark locks of hair looked down at me and I smiled up at Thorin. I looked across to where Kíli was recovering from a near heart attack at losing his brother.

Maybe my nightmares were not as bad as I thought they were.


	3. Chapter 3

Fíli and I were placed next to each other to rest while Óin made his way down to us. The blond dwarf had a bloodied shoulder and one of his legs seemed to be at a funny angle. My ribs did not like the idea of standing up nor did my head that apparently-according to Thorin and Kíli-was bleeding. Despite our pain we couldn't help but smile when Ori came stumbling down with a broken bow. Kíli grabbed the scribe and hugged him tight thanking him over and over again. That was when we learned that when Fíli had been dangling it was Ori's practice arrow that had severed the rope.

"I wasn't even sure I could make the shot." Ori admitted.

"You wonderful, self doubting dwarf!" Kíli kissed Ori's forehead. "You saved him, you and Bilbo saved him." He kissed Ori's forehead again before pulling back, holding Ori's hands in a tight grip. "You shall have my bow."

"What?! N-no, you-"

"Please." He pulled Ori's fingers up to his lips that he shamelessly kissed in front of myself and his family. "Uncle, grant it, please."

Thorin sighed from where he was currently placing pressure on Fíli's shoulder. Kíli was impulsive, mischievous, but loyal. When he set his heart to something-in this case someone-he would never let go. Thorin shared a look with Fíli who only nodded and for some reason looked to me. I gave a shrug. I had no idea what Thorin was silent asking me for but under the circumstances of asking his uncle to grant permission I figured it was dwarrow courting thing. When Thorin continued to look at me I waved a hand. "It's up to you. Though I think Ori can level him out and he can get some self worth into the boy." Ori did not respect himself as much as he should.

"Very well, but after this quest you must remember to inform your mother for I shall not." Thorin said slowly.

I kindly looked away, tilting my head up as I heard the happy sounds of the two dwarrow. Mostly Kíli overly excited over Fíli being alive and now he had a suitor and he said something about an aunt. I didn't know much about their family so I paid no mind. No, my mind was on the soothing feeling of the rain still beating on my bruised face. I was pretty sure Fíli's boot shoved something into my face because it hurt the same amount as my broken ribs.

When the rest of the company got down to us a makeshift shelter was constructed over Fíli and I. Gandalf helped Óin with removing Fíli's coat and shirt. A fire had to be built and a piece of rolled up leather placed in the dwarf's mouth. Since he was still next to me he grabbed my hand as Thorin and Gandalf pinned him down. Óin had to cut into his shoulder and dig out pieces of bark and wood from when a stub of a branch lanced his shoulder on his tumble down. It was a long process. The breaks when Óin had to reheat the blade he was using Thorin would stroke Fíli's hair and say comforting words in their native tongue. The blond continued to look up as his uncle, only turning his gaze every once in awhile in my direction. Once that was finished his leg was set with a sickening snap then bound with splints. Exhausted from the trail of pain Fíli had fallen asleep when Óin turned his attention to me.

"Oh dear." I heard him mumble as he took a piece of wood from the fire and bring it up startling close to my face. "Don't move laddy."

I swallowed as I complied. He tried something I couldn't see and shouted as pain lanced straight through my brain.

"Not good." He pulled back. "Take a moment to breath Bilbo. We'll be right back."

I nodded bowing my head trying hard not to touch the left side of my face that throbbed with a torcherous pain. Óin got up and moved to the rest of the company. Their murmurs hushed and long. Soon he returned with Dwalin and Nori. Dwalin walked behind me and took hold of my head. A sudden fear raced through my chest.

What were they going to do?

Nori knelt in front of me as Óin held up some flame close to my face again.

"Brace yourself Master Baggins." Dwalin said and his grip tightened.

Nori's steady fingers came up to my face in a spot I could not see. At first I had not noticed the blind spot but now, with the fear taking hold I realized what had happened. Something blinded me in my left eye, something that needed a steady hand to pull out. I swallowed hard and clutched handfuls of earth under my hands.

Nori pulled, gently, carefully. I could feel the lumpy object being extracted. With each movement I was screaming. The pain was worse than anything I had ever felt before. It probably only took a moment to pull the foreign object out but to me it felt like it would never end. Each second drawn out to days. I wished Dwalin would press his hands tighter and squash my head by the time it was out.

"There we go lad, it's out. It's out." Dwalin rubbed my shoulders as I shook my good eye crying large tears from the remaining hurt.

I was dizzy. I wanted to throw up, I wanted to sleep. My mind was so frayed at the time that I didn't care if I fell asleep in my own vomit just as long as I could escape the pain. I let out another yelp when something was being smeared across my face but soon a soothing numbness settled in. Medical herbs. Oh there could not be enough of those in the world.

My ribs were checked and when poked it seemed like nothing compaired to what had just happened. Since not much could be done about ribs I was set on a bed roll to rest. When I was drifting off I heard Óin talking with Thorin.

"We have to go to a town. I fear their wounds will infect without the proper medicine. Fíli may be able to fight off the fever that will come with it... but Master Baggins..."

"He will pull through." Thorin said sharply.

"I have no argument that he is a fighter, if he wasn't he would not be with us. It is not a matter of if he is a fighter or not considering where his injury is. I worry he may succum to a fever if his eye infects. Even with proper care, his eye is lost." They were quiet for a bit before Óin spoke up again. "Are you alright laddy?"

Thorin's voice was small but held his usual authority. "Aye."

When I woke up it was because a jolting pain pulled me out of my comfortable darkness. I sat up with much difficulty as I quivered from the pain in my head. I held my hands away from my bandage whimpering. I didn't know what to do. All bodily instinct said to hold my face, rub the pain away but I knew it would not help.

"Hold still." Thorin by the sound of the voice, was to my left. His hands came up to my bandages and slowly undressed them. When the strips of cloth fell into my line of vision and swallowed hard from the large red spots. There had been a lot of damage done. The cool night air felt gratifying as was the cold cloth placed over my eye. I leaned heavily into the hand that held it there letting out a rather shamelessly loud moan or relief. When the cloth started to heat the cloth was dampened and returned to my face. I leaned fully against our leader. The cold running the pain away in my face, not having to hold myself up, oh things could not get any better at the moment.

"I owe you much." Thorin whispered over the sounds of sleeping dwarrow.

"For what?" The cloth was rinsed and placed back.

"For sacrificing yourself for Fíli."

"I did nothing special. All of us would easily give more than an eye for each other."

Thorin's chuckle rumbled like thunder against my shoulder. He adjusted me so I was more across his lap so he could support more of my weight. "And you say Ori has little self worth."

"We all know I have none, why else did it take me so long to get along with everyone? And I remind you I tried deserting already... But wordplay aside... how is Fíli?"

"Well as to be expected. He had managed to eat."

"That's good, very good." I was feeling tired again. With Thorin's warmth on one side, the fire on the other and a cold compress, I drifted off feeling bad when Thorin continued to speak. I would have to apologize in the morning.

Morning came swiftly and the makeshift cover was pulled down as Óin placed more ointment on Fíli and myself. Gandalf had tried to offer his healing magic but after using most of it on Thorin he had yet to regain the ability. He was apologetic as he tried to explain it. Magic was like a well. You pull water up but eventually you must leave it be to refill or it will run dry. It made sense enough for me, as long as I still had one eye left to read I was fine. Thorin though was a bit upset, understandably so with Fíli in his condition. He couldn't even ride his own pony.

"What do you think you're doing?" Thorin's voice was stern behind me as I tried to mount my pony after Óin had finished with me.

"Trying to," I tried pulling myself up again, the lance of pain my ribs forcing me back down with one foot in the stirrup, one on the ground. "ugh, get on... whatever this pony's name is."

"That one is Cotton and you're not riding on your own."

"What? Why not?"

Thorin snorted. "You can't even get on the pony, how are you to hold the reins and dismount?" Before I could answer he grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from the pony. "Come along, you will ride with me."

It was strange riding a pony with someone behind me. It wasn't a bad feeling as I could lean back against Thorin and relieve the pressure on my ribs. We rode in silence going slower than usual because of our injured. A different route had been chosen, a direct path through the thickest part of the forest-instead of going around-and we would have a clear shot to some little town called Lothering that wasn't on any maps only in the memory of a certain wizard and a fleeting one of a dwarf that had an axe stuck in his head.

"Did you rest well last night?" Thorin ask softly to break the silence that was enveloping us, the only noise came from behind us as Thorin kept his position in front of our company.

"Yes. Thanks to you. The compress helped immensely. Though I must apologize for falling asleep in the middle of our conversation."

"No need to apologize burglar." I felt Thorin's breath puff against my head. Was... was his face in my hair?

"I'm sorry am I not giving you enough room?" I asked.

"You are fine. Though I must admit, your hair has an interesting scent."

That was a weird thing to say, but it did peak my curiosity. "What do you mean?"

Thorin then took the liberty to take a deep scent of my hair. The sound and action caused my skin to prickle from the back of my neck all the way up to the top of my head. He hummed in thought before answering, "Like the scent of a field after fresh rain on a hot summer's day mixed with honey."

I thought about it. "It sounds like memories of home when mother would have honey cakes on the windowsill baking after a storm had rolled through. One of my favorite memories of my mother. A found gentle moment that could help chase away self doubt, pain, and fear."

"A very good memory to have."

"I said that out loud didn't I." I groaned. I certainly had meant to have kept it as a thought. I busied myself trying to cover up my embarrassment. Thorin had better things to think about that my memories of mother bustling around in the kitchen. Then I noticed something. A fresh mark on Thorin's leather bracer.

My fingers brushed against it running over the different bumps. Teeth marks?

"Thorin?"

"Yes?"

"Where did you get this?" I asked, turning his arm to see if there were more.

I felt him stiffen behind me. I moved as much as I could, wincing at the action, to see his face. He looked his usual upset self. Yet there was something in his eyes as he looked straight ahead. Worry? Fear? I wasn't sure.

"What happened?" I asked again.

"Master Baggins it does not matter."

"Well if something is trying to bite a chunk out of you then I say it does matter." I was starting to get heated. Yes Fíli and I survived but far as I could tell that THING was still out there with plenty more if what Mad Old Smallburrow had taught me anything.

Thorin then looked at me. "I will tell you tonight if you can do one thing for me."

"I-I suppose so. What is it that you want?"

"Do not think ill of me."

I gaped at him. After all this time he said it now?! How peculiar- wait... The softness in his voice. The how gentle he has been to me as of late. That look he gave me back when Kíli was asking permission to court Ori. Thorin had been silently asking me for-

"No, no, no." I shook my head. "You do not owe me anything Thorin Oakenshield and I shall insist that you rethink upon this matter."

"You think I have not?" His voice was thick, breathy, in a low whisper so others could not listen in if they wished to catch up to us for whatever reason. "Many nights I have dwelled over how to react around you. You make everyone your friend, you have learned several words of our sacred language from just trying to communicate with Bifur. You place yourself on the bottom as to make sure that everyone in this company-that you owe no debt to-are well in spirit and mind while you rot and take abuse from a fool that tried to push you away because he was afraid."

"Afraid?" I couldn't stop looking at his eyes, seeing every emotion flash over them that he felt. "Afraid of what?"

He didn't say any more only pressed his lips against my forehead. His beard scratched the bridge of my nose as he lingered. He treated it as if it was the only kiss he would ever give, long and soft, chaste and perfect. When he pulled back he looked at me once more and I saw him raw, vulnerable. He wanted a reply. He needed to know if I would shun him, accept him, or find something in between.

I simply turned and rested my back against his chest, letting out a long breath. He was stiff until I grabbed one of his hands and rested it on my stomach, my hands playing on his bracer. He only relaxed when I said, "You really are a fool."


	4. Chapter 4

_"You must watch out for them, lad. Objects are finely cursed to the point we cannot feel them any more." Old Mad Smallburrow ran knobby fingers over the shelf while looking for something. "While we hobbits are resistant the matter still stands. Knowledge, boy, knowledge can be our greatest asset and our most damnable feature."_

I awoke for the third or maybe even sixth time for that day. I was becoming increasingly tired as the day stretched on. I found myself falling asleep regularly against Thorin, his arm around me the only thing keeping me from falling off of the pony.

"Would you like some water, Bilbo?" Thorin asked quietly as I adjusted in my seat, he stopped my hand before it could rub at the bandages that started to itch.

"I'm okay." Why was my mind so fogged up?

**Keep awake!** My mind hissed with a savagely dark memory. I jerked at the sudden sound of skin slapping skin with a vicious hit. It was a memory, the sound, but some memories come back harshly, over taking the senses and fooling one to believe them real.

"Are you alright?"

I rubbed my good eye, shaken. "Yes, quite alright." With my mind sharper I looked around. Where were we? The forest was so thick and dark that I could have sworn it was night.

"Thorin." Gloin called and Thorin slowed our pony to fall into step with his. "Fíli is requestin' for us to stop for the night."

Thorin nodded soundly, "Gloin, Oin, Bifur, Nori, search for a suitable place for us to lay our injured and make camp. Be extra cautious, it had rained considerably and the rocky terrain is covered with moss we do not need any more harmed."

They all agreed and steadily separating from the group and fanned out to find something we could use. Thorin lightly nudged our pony along to mix with the group to find his nephews settled together. No large surprise there. Fíli looked as tired as I felt but he kept his head up and smiled when we came near. The smile faltered though, twitching at the corner of his mouth.

"Don't fuss." I said out of the blue.

"I'll fuss as much as I like thank you." His smiled pulled wider, more true.

"Yeah," Kíli rested his chin on his brother's shoulder. "He nearly died, and according to the contract he gets to do what he likes, especially fussing."

I more of felt Thorin's rumbling laugh against my back than heard it. I had to choke down a bark of laughter as to not upset my ribs. "Then what do I get?"

The two brothers leaned their heads together with an all knowing smirk on both of their faces. The glint in their eyes made my heart flutter and I knew exactly what they were going to do. I held up a hand, "No, nooo, you are not to answer that."

"Ah but Bilbo after all that's happened the least you deserve is some douting on by a king." Kíli nuzzled his brother's cheek as if demonstrating what Thorin should be doing to me.

"Aye," Fíli licked his lips making me cover my face in embarrassment. Oh he was going to full out say it. Here it comes. "After all you've done how else is one supposed to show their affection besides with some **_physical_**contact? Though," He cleared his throat to say this next part extra loud which made most of the company here with us laugh. "I would have to advise the passion to be let to heat in the forge if you know what I mean, for your own health. Of course."

"Of course," was the reply that came out of Thorin! This caused Fíli and Kíli to burst out laughing, overly joyed that their uncle had joined in the game if only for a moment.

"Oh, you're a right lot, all of you." I groaned. I looked up at Thorin. "I'm not going to forget this."

He just smiled, such a nice, soft smile. It was definitely something he needed to wear more often.

Soon the others came back with a spot scouted out and we head over. A fire is set quickly and small area is sectioned out for Fíli and I, where bedrolls were laid down and cloaks strung up to create another shelter incase it started to rain once again. Gandalf helps Fíli down and into the support of Dwalin who guides him over to the prepared spot while Balin and Bifur help me down to my feet. They made sure I was steady before moving away. I took a step or two before a gentle hand was placed on my back. Thorin already off the pony and by my side. It was nice to walk, even if my body burned with every jostling movement my footsteps made.

A small skittering sound pulled at the edge of my senses. I looked over my shoulder and glared in the direction of what was out there.

"Is everything alright?"

I didn't look away from the darkness that crept in. A blackness settling over our camp as night approached. I didn't trust it.

"Tie up the ponies." I grabbed Thorin's arm and squeezed. "I have a feeling they may be startled tonight."

"...Like the feeling you had when F..." Thorin's throat stuck on the sentence. He couldn't admit that he nearly lost one of his precious boys and I understood. I gave his arm another squeeze more for reassurance this time and I looked up at him. I pulled on his jacket until his ear was level with my mouth. I dared not speak louder than a breath of this Shire secret.

"Feelings have nothing to do with this situation. We must be cautious and careful, things are among us."

"What would you have me do?" He asked as low.

"Tie the ponies tonight. Keep the fire large and bright well into dawn and..."

"And?"

"I would like have some iron shavings."

He pulled back looking at me completely bewildered. I did not blame him, it was a strange request. His lips pulled down into a stern frown as his eyebrows knitted high up. He was fighting with himself, confusion, anger, awareness of danger returning to us so soon and with such badly injured.

"What are we fighting?"

I shook my head. He took hold of my shoulders and said the one question I dreaded to have to answer my whole life. "What are _you_ fighting?"

I gripped his forearms not flinching under the pressure Thorin was giving me. I wanted to smile to him, reassure him everything will be alright, but boggles were here... and that meant we had a very narrow window of escape from the others. It meant I had to tell him. I went to open my mouth, to tell him the rules that must be abided by when I heard a garbled laugh. The sound made me jump, twist around in a fast motion and back into Thorin pressing him closer to where the fire burned. One of the ponies gave a startled sound and trotted quickly to the side. Thorin grabbed me around my middle and pulled me away from the approaching beast with one arm the other reaching out quickly to snatch the reigns.

Between my head swimming from my sudden turn and the white hot pain of having Thorin squeeze me close to his side I tried to scream only to throw up a mixture of bile and water. The retching sound was awful and that alone made me want to vomit more but the pain was doing a good enough job on its own. My senses were blocked by everything and I could barely hear Thorin cursing and several pairs of hands taking me away from him as more ponies started to sound startled. Dwarves rushed to help Thorin secure the beasts as Ori and Óin held me up while I emptied my stomach completely. Ori's blessed hand soothed on my back as he murmured comforting things to me. Then I was stumbled over and deposited next to Fíli who, this time took my hand and held it while I trembled in agony.

I had to lay still while Óin opened up my waistcoat and shirt. He shook his head and cursed under his breath. "Stoke the fire!" He bellowed. There were shouts suddenly all around us, feet thundering over the ground.

I looked over to Fíli who's face was ashen. He squeezed my hand tight. "D-don't worry Bilbo." Don't worry? But the pain was going away. Fíli suddenly shook me, "Stay awake!" I had dozed off? But when did I-... It dawned on me. My body was in shock and it was trying to shut down. The rest I didn't understand until Dwalin and Bombur were crouched down at my head and feet. The grabbed the edges of the bed roll and hefted me up into the air carried on the fabric that they tried to keep from bending under my weight. Fíli's hand left mine and I saw him sitting up, watching me go closer to the fire and I suddenly understood the closeness that Kíli had for his brother. He was strength and surety that everything will be alright. Being away from him, with that expression on his face, it made fear tear through my whole soul.

Now by the fire I was surrounded by the strongest and senior members of our company. Balin sighed softly at my expression. I had no idea what is going on. He touched my head, soothing like a grandfather. As if knowing what I needed to hear he explained. "You were throwing up blood laddy." He continued to sooth as dwarrow followed Óin's instructions, placing their hands on me and keeping my clothing open.

Balin continued. "One of your broken ribs must of lanced something and you're bleeding internally." He held out a stick with leather wrapped around it and slid it into my mouth. "But don't you worry. We have yah, laddy. We have yah."

Then I was cut into.

* * *

Thorin pinned the writhing hips under his hands down as Dwalin struggled to keep Bilbo as steady as possible. He couldn't handle the screams that were coming from the one he had fallen in love with. He couldn't handle it when he had first heard Bilbo when Nori had pulled that horrible stick out of Bilbo's eye covered in blood and the jelly of the insides of an eye. He had bit almost through his bracer as to not make a sound when that happened. Now... Now all he could do was place pressure as Óin tried his damnedest to repair the damage that Thorin, unknowingly, had put there himself.

He stared straight ahead feeling cold inside wrapped in a blanket of pain. He had a perfect view of seeing Fíli and Kíli with Ori. They were holding onto each other. Kíli trying to drown out the sounds for Ori by holding his hands over the ginger's ears. Fíli stared straight back as he had an arm wrapped around the two youngest as best as he could with them huddling together, close to his side trying to take comfort from his presence.

Eventually the struggle had stopped, the screams dead in the silence of the forest. Thorin could hear his own heartbeat as it slowed. Was Bilbo dead? Did he just kill his One by accident? He had only tried to take Bilbo away from the danger of the unpredictable pony. He- He did not mean for-

"He's still alive." Balin's voice soothed out as he held a mirror over Bilbo's mouth, the stick removed. He kept an eye on how the hobbit's breath fogged up the mirror.

Óin picked up a hot needle, heedless as to how it hissed against his calloused fingers. He was quick and the stitches were neat as a tailor's own work. When he was done he gently cleaned the stitched up wound.

"I don't believe it was you that caused it." He said in his rolling tone knowing full well that Thorin was blaming himself. "The rib was free floating it would have gotten him eventually. Better now than with no doctor around."

Thorin remained quiet, his hands off of Bilbo but his fingers mindlessly playing with the hem of the red jacket Bilbo still had on. It took him a moment to blink and get his still mind to move forward, pushing at the heavy boulder that were his thoughts. "In the morning we make for Lothering, we do not stop." He said slowly.

"No."

"What?" The leader's voice bit out harshly.

"We cannot risk moving him." Óin said simply. "If we do the wound will reopen and I don't think I can stitch him back up again."

"What would you have me do?"

"We keep him warm and dry. Feed him broth for a week or more and then see if we can move him."

"We do not have enough supplies to keep the infections and pain at bay, you said this yourself."

"Aye, I did. Does not change our situation."

"What if you send someone out to Lothering to get what he needs?" Gandalf spoke up bringing attention back to his forgotten presence. "The ponies may be anxious now but in the morning I have full confidence I can take my horse and be there and back again within a few days."

Thorin looked down to Bilbo, the pool of red around him, the bits crusting. "Please do." He said softly reaching up trying to wipe awake the trail of red that was on white lips.

"Bofur?" He called out getting the brunette's attention.

"Yes?"

"Find things we do not need that are made of iron."

"Uh... how much do you need?"

That was a good question. Bilbo didn't say how much he needed, but it was what he had asked for before... before this happened. "As much as we can spare."


	5. Chapter 5

Thorin wouldn't leave Bilbo's side. He cradled the hobbit's head and draped his furs over the small body that they had to strip for easy clean up. They moved Fili closer to the fire where the blond rested, his hand holding onto Bilbo's. He couldn't do much, but the least he could do was keep an eye on the hobbit when his uncle started to doze off.

Throughout the night Fili would hear things, weird things that made him wish that he could move on his own. He would struggle to sit up and when he did everything would fall quiet, even the jittery ponies. He would settle back down only to repeat the action a few minutes later.

Something was outside their camp. Something that didn't like the light of the fire that they kept stoked high.

He stayed sitting up, finally giving up on laying down. He kept his eyes trailed on the dark that tried to press down on the amber light of the fire.

Fili narrowed his eyes, squinting. Something flickered far into the forest, a whitish blue light. It was a tiny thing, like someone with a large candle weaving a path in and out of the packed forest.

"Uncle." He whispered. He reached back, abandoning Bilbo's hand in favor for gripping Thorin's knee. "Thorin."

"What is it?" Thorin asked gruffly, eyes tired with unspilled emotion.

"Something is in the forest." He nodded his head in the direction he was looking.

Thorin crouched forward, kneeling beside his nephew, eyes trailing through the forest until falling upon the peculiar light. It trailed and flickered, moving around in one particular area, never dimming, never truly going out.

"What do you think it is?" Fili asked.

"Whatever it is... I do not trust it." Thorin moved to a small pile of items that he had Bofur gather for him. He did not have time to file everything down yet, as his attention had all been spent on his hobbit. He found an iron clasp and a rusting belt buckle. He pressed the belt buckle into Fili's palm. "Keep this on you."

Fili looked down to his hand. "Odd request."

"Not a request." Thorin said as he fastened the clasp to a bit of leather and tied it around Bilbo's wrist. "Our burglar is a unique thing. I believe his request for iron was made under knowledge not an instinctual request. As his quick movement to save you."

"What do you mean?"

Thorin brushed his thumb over Bilbo's wrist, rolling the leather tie. "He had a nightmare, more of a terror... the night before you were thrown from your horse. He had requested me to watch him sleep, fearful to even close his eyes. His sleep was fitful, he thrashed and opened his mouth as if to scream but nothing came out. I thought he was having a fit so I woke him. The rest you know."

"You think he was having a vision of the future?" Fili looked to his uncle in hopes he could find answers in that strong face.

"... I cannot say for certain."

Fili looked back to the forest. "The light is gone."

"Keep an eye out." Thorin adjusted himself, close to the injured. "It would seem tonight we will need more than one look out."

In the morning Bilbo woke up for the briefest of moments. He was able to drink down some broth laced with pain killing herbs, smile and fall back to sleep. This only happened a few more times throughout the day and deep into the night. Thorin always the one to take the broth that Bombur had carefully created and bringing the warm bowl up to Bilbo's lips. What Bilbo couldn't finish they gave to Fili who only took a few sips to take the edge off before they poured it back into a pot and waited for Gandalf to come back. As promised he had left soon as dawn came. They were at his mercy and they hoped he would be as swift as he had promised.

"How is he doing?" Ori asked softly having prepared some hot water to bath Bilbo.

Kili looked over to Thorin who was nodding off, exhausted. Kili and Ori were currently helping Óin clean Bilbo more thoroughly, bits of dried blood still stuck to alabaster skin. The herbs they gave him made him sleep through the basics of his bodily needs which they had no complaints towards. They were only glad that Bilbo was still alive.

"Bilbo hasn't been awake long enough to answer anything." Kili said softly, gently lifting one of Bilbo's legs for Óin to clean. "Uncle won't admit it... but he's more worried than he lets on."

"If that is true," Ori angled the pot of water for Óin to get better access to rinse off a rag. "He must be devastated inside."

Kili pursed his lips. "With auntie how he is... I'm surprised Thorin hasn't started screaming. But auntie will be better." He unconsciously patted the knee he held more for reassuring himself than anyone else.

He looked over when a growl of pain came from Fili who was limping towards them, heavily leaning against Bifur who had taken him out of camp to take care of his needs. The blond was gently settled down on his bedroll by Bilbo. Bifur said a few things with a few rough gestures and Fili looked over. He nodded. "You're right. The bruising has lightened, even if it is just barely."

Óin snorted. "Mostly because there is not enough blood in the lad to keep the bruised color."

"High hopes dear Óin," Fili rested back, closing his eyes. "We need to keep high hopes."

That night Ori and Kili kept watch. Seated together and close to their loved ones. Ori threaded his yarn over some wooden sticks they had whittled down to make knitting needles since he had forgotten to get some when they picked up the yarn in the last town. He kept the knit tight and would hold it up to Kili's leg in reference.

"What exactly are you making?" Kili asked as he cut another notch into the piece of wood he held.

"Something to wrap Fili's splint in, tight and warm to go under the wraps and to go around his foot."

"You're knitting my brother a long sock?"

Ori looked at Kili, "He did say his foot was quite cold today without his boot."

Kili leaned over and kissed Ori on his nose. "How did I ever find someone with such a good heart?"

"This adventure." Ori snuck a kiss to Kili's lips. "If Gloin hadn't convinced your uncle to start calling upon us to make his company..."

"We still would have met." Kili wrapped an arm around Ori's waist and pulled him tight to his side. "I fully believe it."

Ori frowned when something caught his eye. "What's that?"

A whitish blue light flickered off in the distance, moving as if it was a lantern being held up high by a traveler. They watched it carry on, every movement showing to Kili's trained eye that it was following a path.

The brunette stood up, dropping the chunk of wood. His fingers curled around the handle of his small blade. Ori put his things to the side, grabbing the bow gifted to him, he followed Kili to the edge of camp.

"Stay here." Kili held up his hand in a show for the other to halt.

"You sure?" Ori already had an arrow rested if he needed to shoot, he would.

"It's a good distance off. I'll just go down to the path it had already gone and see what we have." To show he meant to not engage and only scout he slipped his knife into his boot. "Keep an eye out and for the love of Mahal don't shoot me when I come back."

"Be careful."

"I will." And with that Kili disappeared into the darkness of the forest leaving a worried Ori.

Kili slipped over rock and fallen tree with ease. His stride was wide and true, carefully slinking in the dark like a cat. He kept an eye on the path he was headed for making sure never to stray least he got lost with only the light of their camp to lead him back. When he got to the path he was more than a little confused.

The moon shone up high giving some light that he used as he squinted down at the ground. Eventually he laid down, looking at the even and smooth earth. Nothing had come by this area. But that couldn't be. He saw it, someone walked passed this very spot.

With a quick push he was up on his feet and walking down the trail looking for any signs. It was a surprisingly large path, one he could definitely tell Thorin about to make their travels easier when it was time to set out. Kili scratched his messy hair.

"At least there is a bright side to this mystery." He murmured.

"What? _what? what?_"

Kili whirled at the strange raspy voice. There was no one there, just him. Still, he knew he heard someone. "Show yourself." He cut out with a grim voice.

"What mystery? _yes what?_"

This... was not a good situation. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, prickling his skin with a crawling sensation.

"Looking for the witch's lantern?" a husky voice groaned in amusement, much different from the first voice.

"Maybe it wants to blow out the Canwyll Corph. _huff and puff, huff and puff_."

Canwyll Corph? Witch's Lantern? He didn't know what either of those where but he felt something deep in his core tremble.

"Huff and puff, blow until you have no breath. Lips blue as ice, come take a chance with the dead man's dice." That raspy voice was suddenly on his shoulder.

Kili instinctively jumped, swatting as his shoulder when a pressure fell to it. He whirled and instantly felt sick. An ethereal pale face was up to his, wispy as smoke as it slowly took shape. Forming lips moved as the thing in front of him took hold of his face in a painfully hard grip. "Such a beautiful creature for a dwarf. Delicate yet young, and strong."

The prince shook as color washed away the whites and blues of the figure taken shape. It... it was himself. It grinned with his lips, a twisted, hideous grin laced with unbridled hunger. It opened its mouth a black smoke slipping out.

Kili tried to scream.


	6. Chapter 6

Ori waited, the arrow between his fingers as his eyes slowly traced the area where Kili's silhouette had disappeared. Something was wrong. He could feel it. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as if a cold hand was gripping his nape.

There. A movement.

He drew the arrow quickly. "I will not give a warning shot, this is all you receive." He said quickly.

"Calm down, it's only me." Kili stumbled into the clearing.

Ori gave a loud sigh, his shoulders relaxing. "Kili, honestly. You'll be the death of me."

"Sorry." Kili smiled. It... was off. Why did his smile look funny?

"What took you so long?"

"I found an old road." He moved forward. Ori took an unconscious step back. Kili did not look right. The sparkle in his eyes were dull, his smile not forced but... twisted, as if someone was trying to smile for him. "We can take it to get out of the forest."

"Not the way that Bilbo is. We've gotta wait remember?"

Kili's eyes darted over to the sleeping hobbit and narrowed a fraction. "Of course." He said carefully. "I mean when he's well enough to travel we can use it."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm just excited is all. Come on." Kili grabbed Ori's hand and started to pull him into the forest. "You have to see this road. It's great!"

"But- we can't just leave. We're on watch."

"It'll be fine. We'll just hop over and come back, we won't take nearly as much time as I just did. Promise."

"Alright." Ori leaned over and kissed Kili's cheek.

Kili whirled on the scribe. His eyes looking at him in such an odd manner. Suddenly his mouth came crashing down onto his, tongue slithering into Ori's mouth like a snake. Ori tried to pull back but Kili was strong, pulling him into the shadows of the forest. When the scribe tried to force Kili away his wrists were caught and twisted behind his back forcing their bodies to press flush against each other. He tried to shout out to his brothers, for help but Kili's tongue was in his mouth once more.

Ori bit down eliciting a startled shout. Once his mouth was free he tried to scream, "Dor-". A hand clapped down over his mouth.

Kili seemed to groan with pleasure as he hauled Ori further into the forest. "You are driving me WILD! You know that? I haven't felt pain and pleasure in a very long time." Some blood dribbled down his lip from his injured tongue. "I do have to say though, if my tongue swells I won't be happy."

Ori kicked out trying to stop Kili from taking him farther into the forest but nothing seemed to work. Any time he tried anything he would get his arm twisted farther up his back, shooting pain through him, his mouth firmly gripped.

Soon they came up to a long clearing. The Road.

"Ah, here we are." He threw Ori to the ground and started to shrug off his coat.

"What are you doing?" Ori glared.

"I'm getting ready to have my way with you."

"The hell you are." Ori snarled. "I'll only give myself to Kili, and whoever you are, you're not Kili."

"You're right, but oh so wrong. Now, before we get too festive, why don't we have some fun with some lights."

That smile again. That wicked, wicked smile.

The red kept seeping out, saturating the wooden floor. Dwarrow ran around me as I watched the white quivering feet. When the thick substance reached me I fell through the floor, swinging upside down like a child's doll. I looked up or... was it down? Darkness. I took a step and slipped, gold coins slid under my feet, the loose ones fell upwards into that black abyss.

I looked behind me, wondering where I was but all I could see were the sloppy red footprints that lead up to me. I had no idea where I could possibly be.

I saw something move. I ran after it. Whatever it was had the color of chestnut rabbit fur. It jumped behind a pile of gold. I slipped on the coins after it sending many more of the gold bits up into the air. It darted down into a rabbit hole dug into the pile of treasure. No, not rabbit, hobbit. But it was only small enough to be for a rabbit despite the door.

I took hold of the little knob and twisted it. It gave a tiny click and swung open.

"What 'cha doin' up boy?!"

I knew that voice. Old Mad Smallburrow.

I turned around, his knobby limbs clacked together as he quickly hobbled and hopped with his gnarled cane over to me. "You need to blow out the lanterns!"

"Lanterns?"

He puckered his aged lips and gave several puffs in the air. "Huff puff, boy, huff puff."

Suddenly my side hurt, bad. I clasped a hand over it. "Ow..."

"Don't sleep boy, don't sleep."

"What are you talking about?!" I yelled, confused as to what was going on. Was I dreaming? If I was then why did I feel pain? Could I simply have just gone mad, slipped into insanity without realizing it?

**"What are you doing asleep?!"**

I jerked awake, my heart racing, gasping for air.

"Are you alright?"

I looked over, Fili was gazing back at me. I padded my hand around blindly, searching for anything warm and fleshy to ground my panicking mind. I needed to know that I was not still dreaming. He lowered his hand from off of his chest so I could clutch onto it.

"You're trembling."

"I-I will be alright." I took my free hand and touched the cold cloth that was on my forehead.

"You started a fever two nights ago." Fili said softly. "Gandalf has yet to return."

"Gandalf? Two- how long have I slept? What has happened?"

Fili moved a bit, wincing when he rolled onto his sore shoulder. "It has been four days since Óin had to operate. Gandalf left on the first day but has not returned. We have been able to keep you resting with some of Óin's medicinal leaf but... even that has run out now. I'm afraid you will start feeling a lot of pain soon. You also had slipped into a fever. The others have been... busy, so Uncle has been taking care of us." He reached over slipping his hand into the furrs draped over me. He nudged his fingers into my armpit, judging my temperature. "Seems it has broken. That is good." He relaxed visibly. "Very good."

"I'm sorry to have worried you."

"We're just glad you're better Bilbo." Fili smiled, his golden hair pooled over the pack he used as a pillow. It looked so dirty, almost brown.

"Well, if have been healing for four days, should we not head off to a village tomorrow?"

"You must be feeling quite well to suggest that. But no, my friend, you need to heal further or risk reopening that wound."

"Speaking of wounds, how are yours?"

"Doing well all things considering." He gave a grunt and nudged at Thorin's knee. "Uncle. Uncle, wake up. It's Bilbo he-"

Thorin jerked awake, his leg kicking out and almost hitting me in the head, instead only shoving dirt and moss into my hair.

"Bilbo!" He was on his hands and knees now, looking down at me.

I smiled up at him. He looked so tired, so worried.

I reached up with both my hands and touched his face with my fingertips, caressing the jagged lines of his untrimmed beard. He looked so raggled, so dishevelled, it was a bit heartbreaking. He took my hands into his, pressing my palms against his cheeks taking turns to kiss each palm. "Muhudelizu Mahal." Thorin whispered over and over again.

Saying "bless him Mahal" was not something I would have ever thought I would have heard Thorin say. It warmed my heart, swelled it with pride that he had humility tempered with his bravery and compassion. The more I knew him, the more I liked him, and dare I say, love him.

I let him nuzzle and kiss my palms for a bit longer before I had to pull my hands down, drained from holding them up. It was weak, pathetic, but I knew my circumstances and refused to let it get the better of me.

"Fili was telling me what happened." I couldn't help the loving smile on my face. "Thank you for taking care of us."

"I will do everything in my power to see the two of you well again."

Gandalf was perturbed as well as perplexed. He was in a strange sort of situation which meant he did not have much guidance of foresight to help him. When he had started up this whole adventure, counseling Thorin to go into the Shire, grab Bilbo Baggins and head off to Erebor he did so because he had a dream as any good wizard would have. It was obscure, granted, with only fourteen figures climbing up a mountain to fall into darkness, the flap of leathery wings to end with thriving kingdom long since dead. What happened on the way was something he had to simply accept and move on from.

But this situation... it made something inside twist. When Bilbo started to have nightmares and forgo food he knew something was wrong. A hobbit simply never, besides being gravely ill, refused food of any sort. Granted, he knew very little of hobbits beyond their love for food, pleasant disposition, and dreadful fright of tall strangers. That didn't change the unsteady feeling he had. Never before was he uncertain. There was a dark secret the hobbit coveted, chained in a box to be hidden away and forgotten.

And as Gandalf stopped his horse and looked around the vast forest he had decided it was a dangerous secret.

He had been lost for five days now. Bilbo would not last much longer without proper medical supplies and he could not find his way out of the forest. It was as if the wood itself was playing a trick on him, pulling him in an endless loop. This was not ordinary even for a wizard and he had the distinct feeling, no, not a feeling. He knew that Bilbo was the one that could get them out of this forest.

He simply had no choice but to head back, even if the hobbit could not travel he needed to tell Gandalf what to do, for he was at a loss.


	7. Chapter 7

I had not understood what Fili had meant by saying that the others have been busy until I got the time to observe. When they saw me awake in the morning there was many smiles and relieved looks though... Kili and Ori seemed... wrong. I had no other way to put it. They shied away from me as did Nori and Gloin. Bifur, Bofur and Bombur seemed their rightful selves if not a bit on edge though Bifur twitched a lot more than he usually did. Dwalin stayed ever so close to Dori in his own way keeping a watchful eye out, but... it wasn't out in the woods he was watching, it was the others. There was a thick air of distrust amongst a few of the company towards the others that had cat like grins and knowing eyes as if they all privy to a secret.

A few days pulled by in languish. I only had Thorin, Fili, and Bofur to talk to most the time. Sometimes Dori and Dwalin would talk to me when the helped clean my terrible state. It was embarrassing, shameful, but what could I do besides apologize and thank them for helping me when I could not even sit up?

It was at night when things became... unsettling to me. I would dream of Old Mad Smallburrow and of mother's voice screaming at me to stay awake. I would wake in the middle of the night to see someone pull another into the woods only to be gone for a good while before coming back looking... similar. It scared me. It made my fingers worry the iron clasp around my wrist as I came to a dreadful conclusion. I had to keep quiet now, my lips sealed shut. I had to tell Thorin. I had to figure out a way to save the last of us and help the others.

In the middle of the day, when the others made excuses not to come near me I shivered uncontrollably, the forest pressing a damp cold upon us. Fili took off his coat and laid it over Thorin's furs and he snuggled under the warmth beside me in desperation to share our body heat, what little we had. We tucked our heads under the coats, our breath warming our faces. It felt like snow should be drifting down upon us. I could hear the thunk of wood being added to our fire and I wished we had more than one burning.

I could hear the hollow hiss of Fili's breath trying to heat his cold fingers. I took his hands into mine rubbing them. Since this whole mess started I had grown closer to Fili, we were close friends now especially since Kili had been preoccupying himself with Ori. It left Fili at a sort of loss but he was still very happy with his brother.

"Do you think you'll be well enough to travel soon?" Fili broke the silence between us.

"In a few more days, perhaps." I sighed. "It would be much easier if I had a sleep draught to help with that, or a salve for the pain of movement. I don't think Thorin could stand to hear another shout from me."

Fili was silent for a bit, his voice full of uncertainty. "I... will have to agree with you. Uncle is a good man and has far too many emotions bottled up. I fear it will be his undoing." Fili swallowed, I could barely see his pale blue eyes in the darkness of our cover. "I mean no offense Bilbo... but I believe you will be the end of him. You take him so high that his fall will be a great one."

"He will be fine. I have no intentions of leaving."

"Intentions are... fickle things." Fili wrinkled his nose a little. "They are easily changed as we have seen with our friends. All sworn to help you and I and now will not come close."

"That is not something they can help." I hushed my voice. I had to tell someone, anyone and I could not get any privacy with Thorin. This would have to do. I would confide in my friend though, what good he could do with his broken leg and still healing shoulder I did not know. Perhaps we could put our minds together and think of a solution. I tried shifting closer to Fili only to be lanced with pain. I put my hand over the large puckered wound that was making for a rather attractive scar that I could use in a story for little fauntlings. I moved so my lips were placed up against Fili's.

"Do not move, do not speak, but listen to me my dear friend." My voice was grave and heavy with the secret I had bared all this time. "We must tread carefully. They are not themselves but a Canwyll Corph inside. A terrible being that was once alive but refused to move to the world beyond ours, twisted with the need and desires of our mortal plain. They possess people with their own mind but the feelings of the one they inhabit remain. A Canwyll Corph will become overwhelmed by the emotions, unable to cope as to not having felt such things in so long and will drive the body insane over time. They are dangerous with no limitations. They rape, murder and..." Bilbo swallowed hard. "They eat."

"Eat?" Fili's voice was just as small as mine.

"Pigs, cattle, deer, dogs, humans, dwarves, elves all alike."

"If what you are saying is true... then why have they not done so now?"

"I do not know."

"This... Canwyll Corph, if they truly have taken over our friends then how do we return them to normal?"

"They will have a gem on them that they will guard fiercely. I must have them, the rest I must do on my own."

"Bilbo... I do enjoy a good story as anyone should but this... what you speak of is nothing but fiction. Such things do not happen in our world."

"I assure you, they do."

Suddenly the coats were ripped off of us. The dwarves that had stayed away from us for so long stood over us.

Kili knelt down, his usual beautiful grin twisted, a knife in his hand."You know... you really should have been quieter. It made it difficult to keep calm while thinking up different ways to get Thorin to leave camp. But he would do anything for you." He slipped the flat of the blade over my forehead to my nose. I grabbed Fili's arms tightly stopping him from making any sudden movements. Kili mused, a grin on his face. "Hobbits are such... interesting creatures, always knowing when to sniff us out. Thought we would have more time a few left of us trapped in this god forsaken forest."

"And you're no good to us as you are now." Ori leaned over Kili, his usual kind face tainted with the same poison as Kili's bore. "But more so, we need Thorin and to do that, we can't just outright kill you. He'd turn on us too quickly. So we'll have to be clever about it."

Dwalin and Nori grabbed Fili, he struggled but they pressed on his injury making him shout.

"Don't you touch him!" I yelled.

The fisted his golden hair yanking back his head and grabbing his chin. They tried to open his mouth but he kept it closed shut. Oin came in front of him with a piece of paper with some powder on it. He jabbed and ground his thumb into Fili's wounded leg forcing his mouth open come more with a scream before dumping the powder into his mouth. I watched in horror, screaming and shouting for help, for Thorin to come and save us, for them to stop hurting Fili! But Fili's eyes glazed over, his body limp and he was dropped to the ground with a terrible thud.

I struggled but my mouth was opened easier than Fili's. The powder tasted bitter and salty as it dissolved quickly. My mouth become number and within such a short amount of time I could not move, not even my eye. I could not blink and I was only barely aware that I was breathing.

I watched as they all shuffled around each adjusting themselves to set up a convincing scene. Soon I heard the panicked running steps of Thorin's heavy boots, the ragged breathing as he stumbled coming closer. Kili moved from my line of sight, fake tears in his eyes.

"U-uncle, we-" He swallowed sounding wrecked and so convincing in his grief. "We-we tried. B-bilbo just had a fit and he... he... And Fili just... he just stopped moving suddenly." He gave a sob as Thorin came running forward.

His knees cracked hard onto the ground. His face above mine. His lip quivered, his hands coming to the sides of my face, hesitating before touching. He shook me, my body limp. "Bilbo... wake up."

We are awake! Thorin, oh Thorin use a mirror! We're still breathing! I screamed in my mind, though I could only stare. I couldn't make a sound. I was helpless and had to watch him with eyes darkened with sorrow. Large pearls of tears fell from his eyes down onto my face. He turned to Fili, a meager attempt to wake him up as well, his voice broke like a man come home to the slaughter of his family. He pulled Fili and I up to his lap, holding us both in an arm each and crushing us against his chest. He gave a painful wail that stabbed at my soul.

I felt someone slither an arm behind my back, someone hugging Thorin from behind. "Uncle." The well practiced tiny voice of Kili wept his poison. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

It took hours of suffering for Thorin to be convinced to let go of us. Therein he so gently, lovingly braided a lock of my hair and cut it off. He shifted and I was certain he was cutting off one of Fili's braids. Then he placed a kiss on my brow then to my lips and all his warmth was gone.

"We should bury them," Balin said softly.

No! Don't bury us!

We're alive!

We're alive!

"N..no." Thorin's voice was so hoarse and raw from his grief. "I cannot bare..."

"You do not need to be present laddy."

They were trying to kill us, first this now tying up the loose ends.

"I said no!" He swallowed hard, "The ground is frozen. Snow will be upon us soon... we.. we must continue to Erebor. Winter comes too soon in these lands, Durin's Day will be upon us soon and we must reclaim what is ours for Bilbo, for Fili. Pack up the ponies, we must leave."

No, no, no! Don't leave us Thorin! Don't!

But no matter what I did to scream out in my head I could not get the words to escape my mouth. Thorin slid our eyes shut, took off our coats and placed a blanket over each of us covering our whole body. We listened as they gathered everything together, asking what they should do with our things. Thorin told the company to take our belongings.

We were left. In the cold, to die in the elements with Thorin in danger and the company possessed by corpse candles, those Canwyll Corph's with only a handful of hobbits that knew how to save them.

They left.

We were left.


	8. Chapter 8

Thorin was inconsolable. He moved forward with slow movements when the road lead them easily out of the forest. All the while his heart bled leaving a dark red trail of grief that only the canwyll corph's could see. Thorin's eyes betrayed him many times, letting tears slip free as he lead his company forward. He knew he shouldn't have left Bilbo and Fili like that. They deserved to be carried to Erebor and sealed away in a proper tomb to let the stone reclaim them so that they could be in the Halls of the Ancestors, feasting with the gods. As it was he had to reclaim Erebor, for them, for his people, for Kili who was now his heir.

So lost was he that he could not hear the company whispering their dark secret to each other.

"It wasn't able to grab hold of him." Balin growled. "Do you suppose it is the state he's in?"

"Most likely." Dori pulled the reins of his pony that once more showed the signs of wanting to buck. The longer they were exposed to the animals the more they wised up to what they really were. He was just glad they had dimwitted ponies and didn't have dogs around. Most hunting animals could see them for what they really were and stayed clear, raising an alarm much too quickly. "These dwarves have strong memories, strong emotions."

Kili nearly spat. "Tell me about it." The canwyll corph could barely stand the one that was in Ori but this body he was in couldn't get enough of the redhead. Couldn't fathom kissing someone else, and it was increasingly awkward for the creature to lust after the one that housed the other corpse candle. But what was worse was that this dwarf... this _Kili_ made it difficult for him to move when it came to going against Fili. He had to push the other soul back into its Witch's Lantern rather forcefully a few times. And when he saw Thorin broken, crying over two bodies there were not dead, he felt sick with grief.

"Stop your bitching," Nori hissed. "We have dwarves, at least they can't kill us like hobbits can and they're much sturdier than elves and humans. We need to give Thorin time, it'll hook barbs in."

And he was right. Something whispered to Thorin, darkened his mood the closer they crept to the village. They were so close. They could have made it to the humans with Bilbo and Fili. The whisper told him that it was unfair. That they died so close to help. It was the human's fault for being so near. No hunters would come into the forest, they could have gotten help from the hunters if they had. In fact, Gandalf would have made the ride within two days. Why hadn't he come back? Thorin gripped his reins as his grief slowly boiled. Humans... Humans were just as bad as elves. They abandoned them when the dwarves needed aid. Because of the humans Fili died. Because of the humans, it whispered devilishly, his halfling perished, his body left out in the cold of aging autumn season.

Flakes of snow started to drift down that night, white and silent giving the air the quiet mask of death. They rode into town no one knew what they would do next.

* * *

I tried to stay awake. I don't know what they gave us but it was a terrible thing. The cold was numbing and I could only assume it was night. It had been so long yet I still could not move. It left me a long time to dwell on my thoughts. I tried to remember everything Old Mad Smallburrow had taught me. The special child that no one wanted to have the dreams passed down to. How mother taught me to stay awake when something evil was afoot by shouting and making loud noises. Mother had struck me a few times and I understood it was for my own good as things passed through the Shire, things that could take a sleeping mind.

I blamed myself, naturally, for this situation. I should have told Thorin when I had the chance. I should have broken that secret, but I still worried. Many of the creatures the Shire had travel through it, if someone had knowledge of it the more powerful it became, the more dangerous. Like the Ubor, sparkling like struck flint as it came close to swallow your soul, or the ghouls that dug up graves and ate the dead, the gremlins that caused accidents, bograts and boggles scarring and torturing animals, harming children and elderly. The list went on and on, and on. I knew that if boggles were near so were more dangerous creatures. Boggles, though mostly harmless were attracted to the darker entities. This I knew, this alone made this situation my fault.

I should have known better. I had the dreams where terrible things were coming. I had the nightmare of Fili's death and barely could prevent it. I dreamt of Thorin's heart bleeding as I died in his arms, the emotions blinding me even in my waking state. I should have connected the blood in my dreams to Thorin. I should have seen that the person with blood on their lips was me. I should have... I should...

Where those hoof steps?

"What in... no..."

Gandalf? GANDALF!

I heard the wizard dismount on his horse, the crunch of his soft heeled boots hurried up to us. I felt the fabric next to my arm pull off. He was checking out Fili. He then pulled mine back, his breathing was quick and noisy. My heart barely beat as I worried that he would declare us dead as well, leaving us to parish.

"This... does not seem right." He murmured.

Yes. Yes it does not!

He pressed his palm against my face, certain that he was doing the same to Fili. I assumed he was using magic to figure out the troubles. I did not know what wizards usually did, nor how magic truly worked. Then my mouth was being opened by large fingers. They swiped over my tongue and inside my cheek. Gandalf smelled his fingers and made a sound quickly followed by a quick spit. He must have tasted my saliva.

"Doll Powder? But that hasn't been around for centuries..." he pondered. Then he was moving. "Do not worry Bilbo, Fili! I shall not abandon you."

It took him little time to build a couple of fires around the camp keeping us warm. He moved about as best he could, supplying us with another blanket and me with a very ill fitting spare robe he had. All the while I kept saying over and over in my head. "Bless you Gandalf, bless you."


	9. Chapter 9

The people of the village looked at the dwarves with fixed anxiety. They pressed against each other, passing whispers from one set of lips to the next. Long has it been since the last traveler had come through the forest, most trades were directed around. So long that no one alive remembered why it was that way, they only knew that the forest held a shadow that not even the noon sun could penetrate. Though wary of their new guests many had their heart go out to them. They all looked tired and worse for wear as if they had been through a terrible ordeal.

The tavern keeper, a man with short hair and a great round beer belly, stepped forward. When the company stopped and did not move, only looked back at the villagers that stared at them intently.

"You... seem tired travelers. May I offer my services at the tavern?"

The dwarf at the lead slowly nodded his head.

"Then, uh, this way good sirs." He passed by his wife and shushed her when she made to protest.

"Look how fat they all are," Dwalin leaned over to Dori, whispering into the other's ear. "Plump and ripe."

"Don't start that up. I'm already hungry enough as it is." Dori replied reaching over and patting Dwalin on the hand. "But don't you worry, I'm certain we'll get something satisfying in our bellies soon."

"As long as it is a lot of meat."

When they got to the tavern they were seated at a long table and ales quickly dispensed. Thorin remained quiet as the others started to talk among themselves. That voice kept talking to him, hissing, whispering, squirming, like a maggot in a rotted out corps.

_So close. This village was so close. The humans are just like the elves. Turning their backs on you when you needed them the most._

Balin shifted in his seat next to Thorin clearly seeing the haunted look of his king. He took the chance, "Sire... I don't mean to be a troublemaker but... does it not seem odd that this village was so close and yet we could not get help?"

Thorin nodded slowly as a few tavern wenches came with platters and plates stacked with meats, potatoes, vegetables and breads.

"I-is it true you came out of the woods?" One asked Bofur, trying to stay clear of Bifur's intimidating look with the axe in his head.

"Aye, lost some good people in there." He said loudly encouraging the dwarves around him to grow louder in their clatter so that the wench would have to speak up loud enough for Thorin to hear. He grabbed his mug and held it up high, "To the best hobbit and the best dwarf!"

They all raised their glasses, except Thorin, and drank messily.

"I'm sorry to hear that." The woman said, her voice loud in their drinking silence. "The forest certainly is dangerous, that's why no one will go in there. When we saw fire smoke we-"

"You saw the smoke from a camp, in a dangerous forest, and did not go to help?" Gloin blurted in, looking shocked as best as he could.

She shook her head. "We prayed for you all. That you would be safe. See, when we are young we are taught never to venture near the forest becau-"

They saw us! They saw us and did nothing to help!

Thorin ran a shaky hand over his beard. His voice deep as rumbling rocks, "You mean to say, that everyone here in this village knew there were dangers in the forest. That not one man had the courage to come to the aid of those who needed it most." It's their fault! "We were in there for days! We sent for help to receive none!" _Bilbo's gone because of them!_ "My nephew, the heir to my kingdom died! My beloved consort, dead because not one person in this village thought to venture the harmless wilds due to childhood stories?!"

Balin placed a comforting hand on Thorin's shoulder. "Sire. I believe it might be in our best interest if you allow me to take over this situation."

Thorin clenched his teeth painfully tight. He always trusted Balin to help guide him to do the right thing and as of this moment all he wanted was to kill the insolent beings that took Bilbo and Fili from him. His anger was white hot, it made his vision darken around the edges as he wanted nothing more than to see blood spill.

Balin leaned back in his seat, adjusting his coat over his chest and stomach. "Kill them."

Dwalin was the first one to move. He swung a punch, the sharp bits of metal strapped to the back of his hand tore into a tavern wench's throat. She choked on her scream, the impact from the punch preventing her from making any sound beyond a gurgle as she clutched to her bleeding neck.

Kili pushed out of his seat. With a great stride he stomped onto the table and leaped forward, with a fluid motion he had pulled a knife out of his boot. His momentum pushed him passed a wench and straight into a fellow patron. The knife went down just above the collar bone, he yanked it to the side cutting veins and ligaments creating a spray of hot red to splatter across his face and chest.

There were a flurry of dwarves and weapons, oddly enough the screams seemed distant to Thorin. The thick smell of blood did not register as he sat quietly. Balin was next to him, placing a variety of food onto both their plates talking as if it was a normal meal on just a normal day.

"You should eat Thorin, you do no one any good when you don't keep up your strength."

Thorin picked up his knife and fork, cutting into some beef he felt a sort of relief warm his stomach. Balin was right. Starving himself would not help them win back Erebor.

"I believe tonight we shall rest well," Balin tore off a chunk of dry bread. He leaned over the table and wiped it over a splatter of red. He popped the blood soaked bread into his mouth and have a happy sigh of satisfaction as he chewed.


	10. Chapter 10

The hair was soft, not nearly as soft as Bilbo's and it was a dirty blonde not light brown. Thorin held up the head, turning it around in his hands. Red rivets of blood trailed down his bracers, slowly dripping from his elbows. This one he had killed himself, found her running into the very woods that the people of Lothering found so terrifying. It infuriated him so much that he almost threw up after cutting up the body to the point it was unrecognizable as even human.

His eyes trailed over the features, his mind numbingly blank. He pushed his thumbs into the eyes of the head he held, sliding them under the eyelids and up, pocketing the skin from meat and bone. The skin tore as he worked his thumbs up into the forehead. Then a thought struck him.

"Bofur?" He slowly blinked as he continued to peel skin away as if he was merely dealing with fruit.

"Yes?" The dwarf being the closest one to the king at the time.

"How hard would it be to make this look like a dragon attack?"

The miner folded his arms, a bloodied set of fingers twirled the end of his mustache as he thought. "It would take a little time, a day or so, but I think we can do it."

Thorin took hold of a fold of loose skin and tossed the head into the air. "Get started."

Bofur grinned and gave a small salute before trotting off leaving Thorin to his own devices. The other canwyll corph had yet to enter the dwarven king's body, but it had succeeded in throwing his mind into a dark pit. He wasn't aware of what he was doing, not since he had to leave Bilbo and Fili in the forest. He left behind so much that he was hollow, the only thing left for him to be protective over was Kili.

He clasped his hands behind his back, slowly walking through the carnage of what his company had done. His boots squelched on flesh, crunched on bone. He took a deep breath through his nose, his mind mulling over the new plan to reclaim their home. Without Bilbo they needed to accumulate a vast army and what better way than to show that the dragon was not asleep? Forcing men and elves into desperation to raise up arms with the dwarven king at the lead. He would give an empty promise of gold as a praise to seduce the ones that did not hold the courage or rage towards vanquishing Smaug. With this new plan he didn't have to do it by Durin's Day. He could take his time. Target many villages and he knew, it would work.

He heard a noise, looking over he found it was only Kili pinning Ori up against a wall, their mouths locked in a blood soaked kiss as their hands fumbled at each other's clothes. He snorted, their lust was getting worse. "Kili!"

Kili pulled back, his coat off, tunic open and trousers halfway unlaced. "What?!"

"Keep your tone in check," Thorin warned. He looked at Kili's trousers and nodded his head. "Lace yourself up, I have a job for you."

"Can't it wait?"

"It can, but so can your needs wait until you are in a proper setting and not in public."

"If we take it inside can you give me some time and then I can do whatever you want." Kili shifted, his sex straining against the laces of his trousers.

"Only if you can make it inside a house."

Kili grabbed a fistful of Ori's jacket, practically running to the first door he saw.


	11. Chapter 11

It was hard writing this. If there are questions you need answered please, PLEASE, ask them so I can address them in the next chapter!

* * *

Gandalf made himself weak as he strained to use his magic to heal Fili and I as well as he could. It mended us to the point we could move though we had lost much time between us and the rest of the company. Our residential wizard had explained he could only do so much, thus he had to wait a few days for the doll powder to run through our systems. When I first could move I gripped onto Fili, I could barely move my fingers, the way his twitched, how his palm curled, he was better off than I was, and I was ever so thankful for that. Next I was able to open my eyes, only seeing the snowflakes drifting down. Winter smothering the world with a blanket of silence. It was beautiful in a way, in another oppressive.

Fili was the first to speak. His voice was scratchy, "Bilbo, you well?" I had to squeeze his hand in reply.

The few days for the doll powder to wear off felt like weeks. Gandalf kept the fires around us high, keeping the snow from collecting on us and keeping us well warmed. He feed us broth that consisted of mostly boiled snow with pine nuts. It was after that, he healed us.

The wizard pulled down into every reserve he had. And for the first time, in what felt like a very long time, I was able to sit up. The deep throb of my wounds remained, feeling as if every organ had a blossoming bruise upon it. Nothing tore, no sudden need to throw up, just raging discomfort; I could handle raging discomfort just fine.

Gandalf sat beside us, sweat on his brow as he watched. Fili had grabbed hold of my shoulders and hugged me close. I clutched onto him, my face against his neck. Both of our hearts were pounding savagely.

We were alive.

We were alive in the scariest situation that I could possibly think of. But to Fili it must have been so much worse. To him I told him a dark fairy tale that came true. It ripped and spat on him with the acts of his beloved brother. The companions we have all come to love as family attacking us. Then we heard Thorin's grief, felt our king's heart break and shatter, all the while helpless to stop him from dying inside. To the prince, Thorin was his uncle, was his father.

I pulled back from the prince, stroking his face like my own father had done after he fished me out of a creek when I was a fauntling. It was still visible behind my eyes, how they yanked on his hair, abused his wounds. It made me angry they did that, but it hurt my heart knowing they had no control, it was the Canwyll Corphs that did this, not our beloved company.

"How are your wounds?" I asked softly.

"Fine, yours?"

"Sore, but manageable." I admitted.  
"Now that the two of you know you are well," Gandalf huffed out a tired breath. "Perhaps you could explain a few things Bilbo Baggins."

I swallowed and looked to Fili before nodding. "Very well... but... I must warn you both. This world I will open up to you, there is no retreat." I gripped the back of Fili's neck, massaging it a little in a gesture of reassurance more for myself than for him. "And I'm afraid I must take you from your duties in Erebor for some years before you can return."

"Why?"

My hand fell from him, my shoulders sagging with the weight they bore, "Because this is no light matter, you may endanger everyone with your knowledge alone. I will properly teach you as I had been taught, but it takes time Fili, much time."

Gandalf moved closer, the three of us in a tight circle. It was time for me to reveal hobbits for what we truly were and the darkness that surrounds our simple ways.

"I shall start at the beginning of what I know. I was taken to a special burrow deep within the earth under the shire. There I was locked away with a strange hobbit by the name Smallburrow. He was, in a sense, the keeper of our history.

"The Shire was settled by hobbits for the fact it was the safest place to be. The world, at the time, was dark. Trolls took over hillside, goblins thrived in the mountains. A dark power was building far to the east, blotting out the sun and raining ash. This power stirred evil darker than itself. While this power craved to rule, what it attracted wished only to corrupt and spoil. These, things, these creatures range from simple tiny creatures to things the gods had wished to seal away for the safety of all.

"Boggles, Bogarts, Gremlins, Ghouls, No-See'ems; these are typically the small creatures that spook the animals. They make dogs growl, cats hiss, and ponies to buck. They live to torment, scratch, bruise, bite, but nothing threatening. These little creatures gather around the darker ones. Incubi, Succubi to rape you while you sleep. Black Dogs to bite your soul, ripping it away to consume it. The Wild Hunts to drag those down to their demonic world, Hellequins, Windigos, the list goes on, and on." I ran my hands over my face, my head was feeling light from the lack of food and I needed a good drink.

"But what are these things?" Fili asked.

"Relics from a world long past forgotten, older than the world the Gods stepped into. They slept while our world was built. Or, as Smallburrow taught."

"And what about these, creatures, you were telling me about before... Before."

"Canwyll Corphs." Down to the heart of the matter, yet still so much to explain. "In common tongue they are called Corpse Candles. They are spirits of a sort. Some legends say they were once living creatures with sound minds that refused to leave, over time becoming corrupt with madness. Others say they never had a body, ethereal beings that became jealous of those who could touch and feel.

"They take over the body, sealing the soul of the original away into a gem that sparkles like no other. The gem is kept close to them, this thing is called a Witch's Lantern. It must be 'blown out', for the original soul to be freed."

Gandalf spoke up this time. "And how does one blow out these lanterns?"

"A very dangerous process. A special pipe must be constructed out of a Rowan tree, a special tobacco must be constructed out king's foil, baby's breath, willow leaves and holly oak."

"Breath that in and you'll die!" Fili snapped.

"Yes, most likely, but it is what needs to be. I must blow the smoke over the Witch's Lanterns, the gems will turn to gray stone sealing it so the corpse candle cannot put the soul back into it, then the soul can return to its rightful body."

"And you will do this even though it would mean your life?" Gandalf asked.

I looked him in the eyes, my conviction never faltering. "It is my duty as a hobbit, my duty as the next Whisper." The next Whisper... It was something I never wanted to be.

"What is a Whisper, dear Bilbo?"

"The keeper of history for the Shire. We also protect the outside lands." I looked to Fili, chest feeling heavy. "This is where you will never be able to turn back. I will understand if you wish to leave."

Fili's dirty hair shifted in clumps as he shook his head. "A future king must know many things, I believe this is one of the things I must learn."

Bless him.

"The Shire is built on something called The Well. Many believe it is a road of energy that filters through it, this road or line, spirits travel upon as well as these dark creatures. The Well is the start of it all, the source. We settled upon it as Yavanna's children to keep it guarded, we were gifted with plants that keep them at bay. Our simple ways make it hard for these creatures to influence us or even take over our bodies. Our ears hear them, our feet light so they cannot hear us. The hobbit's simple ways is what keeps everyone safe, but the knowledge of these things, just knowing of them, it pulls to them, calls them to you. But knowing of The Well... it is much different." I pulled my hands through my hair. The Well itself was alive, all seeing, all knowing. It would find them and while Gandalf was a powerful wizard and no fool, Fili was neither a hobbit, nor a wizard. He would be the one that it would prey upon first. I had time though, The Well was slow with its reach. I could teach them how some defenses.

"Well... I think that is certainly enough for today." Gandalf pushed himself up to his feet. "Come Fili, time to work your leg. Let us find some birds to hunt."

I grabbed Fili's hand as he stood. "Fili. Be careful."

He smiled, looking older than he should. He gave me a bow of his head. "Don't worry Master Baggins. I doubt Gandalf will allow any further harm to either of us for some time."


	12. Chapter 12

I'm going to have to put this story to the side. I don't know what to do with it now. It's gotten away from me and I don't know how to reign it back in.

If anyone is interested in picking it up please contact me.


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